30 May When the Penny Drops: Why “Leave Your Personal Life at the Door” Doesn’t Work
In today’s LeaderShift session, something truly shifted. As we unpacked the tough conversations that managers often face, a powerful insight emerged: some issues can be avoided entirely, and others addressed early, before they fester into something bigger. That’s when one manager said, “Now I get why ‘We’re here to work, I don’t care about your personal life’ doesn’t work.”
This realisation surfaced through real leadership challenges, shared among peers in a space designed for honest reflection and meaningful dialogue. LeaderShift offers just that, a well-curated environment where leadership habits are explored in context, through conversation, and challenged with curiosity rather than judgement. It sparked a deeper exploration of a long-standing belief: that work and personal life should remain strictly separate. Some believe that if we avoid the “personal stuff” we keep things productive and professional, but the experiences shared in the room told a different story. There are cracks in that approach, and a cost to ignoring the human realities that inevitably shape performance.
One of the delegates shared their experience with a suddenly disengaged, underperforming team member who was always on their phone. Frustrated, the manager eventually addressed the issue directly, only to discover that the employee was trying to manage work while also caring for a seriously ill mother. “It was news to me,” the manager admitted. “I never created the space for anything else.” They realised that if they had opened the door for personal check-ins earlier, the behaviour might have made more sense, and support could have come sooner.
Another story came from a different context – a high-pressure role that required constant availability. One exhausted team member finally slept through a night, missing several important client calls. The manager, caught up in the fallout, focused only on the mistake. It took time to see the fuller picture: a dedicated, overworked person who had been running on empty. “They needed rest, not reprimand.”
In both cases, the pattern was the same: performance issues that could have been addressed earlier or even prevented if the human context had been considered.
Bringing this to light is not about turning managers into counsellors or lowering the bar on accountability. It’s about recognising that people don’t stop being human as soon as they park their cars and get into the office. They bring their worries, responsibilities, grief, joy, and fatigue with them, and when those parts are ignored, what’s left is often a quiet erosion of engagement, trust, and well-being.
Performance and well-being shouldn’t be competing priorities as they are deeply interconnected. When people feel safe to share what’s really going on, leaders can respond earlier, more empathetically, and more effectively. That’s not a distraction from performance but an enabler.
What shifted in the room today wasn’t just understanding, it was a reframing of what good leadership looks like. Not cold detachment, but compassionate awareness. Also not micromanaging but making space for people to be seen as human beings. What might shift in your organisation if people felt safe to bring more of themselves to work?
If you’re ready to strengthen your organisation through strategy, leadership, or team development, let’s talk. To hear more about Leadershift or our work with Strategy, Organisation Design, Leadership and Team development, visit our website or connect with us on LinkedIn. We’d love to help your organisation thrive in a healthy, sustainable way.